Aidilfitri (Eid al-Fitr) : Maaf Zahir dan Batin

The celebrations of Hari Raya Puasa Aidilfitri (Eid al-Fitr) just ended. And while I'm not a Muslim, it's difficult as a Malaysian not to feel and be immersed in the spirit of the celebration of Aidilfitri and that of the month of Ramadan.

To me, the most moving ... touching, inspiring and humbling experience of Aidilfitri and the month of Ramadan is the very act of seeking forgiveness through the words "maaf zahir dan batin".

As I understand, it is a cultural practice for Muslims to seek forgiveness from God, one another and even non-Muslims on the day of Aidilfitri. And the phrase "maaf zahir dan batin" (for those who do not know Bahasa Malaysia) means "forgive physically and spiritually" or "forgive from within and without(outside)" is uttered in greeting to all. It is usually uttered in the context of seeking forgiveness.

Starting with the family on the day of Aidilfitri, Muslims seek forgiveness from people at home before visiting friends and family, seeking forgiveness from those whom they meet. The seeker of forgiveness by uttering the words "maaf zahir dan batin" is lowering his/her own ego, swallowing pride and resentment, setting aside past hurt and anger EVEN if he/she felt that the other is in the wrong; to seek forgiveness from and apologise to the other party. Needless to say, this can be a very difficult exercise on any given day. More so when one has to be sincere and seek forgiveness from and apologise to everyone on one day. This is a practice that is said to have mend ties where it had previously seemed that all was lost. I can only imagine how this practice keeps ties cordial amongst Muslims. Surely one would oblige when a person comes sincerely seeking for forgiveness.

This practice is powerful because it helps:
i) one to first forgive the other
ii) lower one's hate and resentment
iii) lower one's ego and pride
iv) raises one's humility
v) improves relationships

There is so much hatred and unforgiveness in the world at this moment. It is retribution-seeking and unforgiveness that's perpetuating conflicts and hatred around the world, sometimes for generations. And it's not just on global and national scale. Such usually begins from the individual and at home. When we have problems forgiving those closest to us at home, such attitude can easily extend beyond home to all whom we meet.

Personally, I strive to practise forgiveness everyday. A few times a day in fact. I do it when giving thanks for the meals I have. At the end of my thanksgiving, "I forgive all who have hurt me, whether knowingly or unknowingly". And I make a sincere effort to forgive those who have caused me hurt on that day or before, whoever it is that my heart is still not at peace with. I find that it's a very good practice and habit that helps me see people without the prejudice of past negative experiences. After all, I found that my negative reactions to certain people is usually not based on the actual incident itself. Rather, it is the bad history and unforgiveness I have with that person that causes me to react more negatively than the situation warrants. If I let go and forgive everyday, my relationship with the other person is wiped clean of dirty smudges and ready to build on positive experiences daily. I can't say how much this practice have changed me and my relationships with people.

How I wish everyone can practise seeking and granting of forgiveness sincerely. The world will be a much better place than it is today. No more wars and conflicts certainly. No more family disharmony. Surely forgiveness will translate into peace and harmony amongst all.

The practice of "Maaf Zahir dan Batin" certainly helps. When all is forgiven, we can strive to build new and meaningful positive relationships for the future. Be it with individuals, groups of people or even nations. Because the journey of reconciliation begins with the first step of forgiveness.

To anyone I know who may be reading this posting of mine, I sincerely seek "maaf zahir dan batin" from you.
Please forgive me for any hurt and pain that I may have caused whether knowingly or unknowingly. I too forgive you for any such trespasses. Let bygones be bygones. May we build our relationship on positive values like Love, Truth and Compassion.

May Love, Truth and Compassion spread to every corner of this world and universe.

every instant of displeasure is opportunity to transcend

The person who brings out the worst in you

The Uncle and the lady driver of CDM25

As I caught up on the now infamous case of the uncle and the lady driver (Siti Fairrah @ Kiki) of the car CDM 25, I pondered:
i) what kind of suffering did Kiki go through that caused her to unleash her fury in that manner ?
ii) how admirable the uncle Mr Sim Siak Heong was throughout the incident and after
iii) whether netizens who commented and discussed this case are truly aware of themselves

That it was an incident of unwarranted bullying or rage is obvious.

But what struck me really hard was:- what could possibly have happened and built up, to cause Kiki to lose her cool like that? On the surface, it's just one incident. Her explosion gave an indication of probably much dissatisfaction in (other areas of) life and much suppression and repression in her. While I shall not speculate on those possible causes, the accident was very likely the last straw that broke the camel's back. It was clear that she's a decent person as it was reported and clarified by Mr Sim that Kiki "however, at the police station, began to cry and asked for my forgiveness" not long after the incident.

Most admirably, Kiki has admitted personal responsibility for her actions and has since apologised on her Facebook page and even on air on different radio stations.

My heart goes out to Kiki for whatever suffering her past brought her up till that incident. And also all the suffering that came as a result of her expressed rage. I pray that she'll be able to forgive herself, others and find her peace beginning with this Ramadan.

Mr Sim's cool and collected reaction is very admirable. More so, when he is willing to let things go and not press any charges against Kiki, even though the Inspector-General of the police has ordered an investigation into the incident. "I pity the woman if she goes to jail for the incident, as I do not gain anything from this," he said. "As a Catholic, my religion teaches me to forgive others who do harm to us," Sim said.

I felt most moved by both Mr Sim's statements. Here is one man with good sense. A truly good man. He did not raise a call for retributive justice that much of our society has been conditioned to (especially by entertainment media).

And from this incident we see religion and faith continue to do its part in fostering a harmonious society. We see it today and hopefully more shall see the true spirit of religion and faith. And that is Love.

"I pity the woman if she goes to jail for the incident, as I do not gain anything from this," he said, preferring to forgive and forget. - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

"However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness," - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

"However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness," - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

"However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness," - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

"However, at the police station, the woman began to cry and asked for my forgiveness," - See more at: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/uncle-ready-to-forgive-road-rage-woman#sthash.u1yT4rQU.dpuf

Kiki has suffered much criticism, condemnation and vilification from netizens and non-netizens alike. Even threats and being made the butt of jokes on internet memes.

One very remarkable affirmative and positive reaction (cum marketing & publicity stunt) so far is that of DiGi Telecommunications encouraging everyone to see the good.

I hope and pray that everyone shall remember the simple rule that none of us wish for suffering to befall us or our loved ones. And that if that applies to us, it applies to everyone. Including those whom we have no wish to associate with.

And if I may quote the Bible:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 7:12
"Do to others as you would have them do to you." - Luke 6:31