Aidilfitri (Eid al-Fitr) : Maaf Zahir dan Batin

The celebrations of Hari Raya Puasa Aidilfitri (Eid al-Fitr) just ended. And while I'm not a Muslim, it's difficult as a Malaysian not to feel and be immersed in the spirit of the celebration of Aidilfitri and that of the month of Ramadan.

To me, the most moving ... touching, inspiring and humbling experience of Aidilfitri and the month of Ramadan is the very act of seeking forgiveness through the words "maaf zahir dan batin".

As I understand, it is a cultural practice for Muslims to seek forgiveness from God, one another and even non-Muslims on the day of Aidilfitri. And the phrase "maaf zahir dan batin" (for those who do not know Bahasa Malaysia) means "forgive physically and spiritually" or "forgive from within and without(outside)" is uttered in greeting to all. It is usually uttered in the context of seeking forgiveness.

Starting with the family on the day of Aidilfitri, Muslims seek forgiveness from people at home before visiting friends and family, seeking forgiveness from those whom they meet. The seeker of forgiveness by uttering the words "maaf zahir dan batin" is lowering his/her own ego, swallowing pride and resentment, setting aside past hurt and anger EVEN if he/she felt that the other is in the wrong; to seek forgiveness from and apologise to the other party. Needless to say, this can be a very difficult exercise on any given day. More so when one has to be sincere and seek forgiveness from and apologise to everyone on one day. This is a practice that is said to have mend ties where it had previously seemed that all was lost. I can only imagine how this practice keeps ties cordial amongst Muslims. Surely one would oblige when a person comes sincerely seeking for forgiveness.

This practice is powerful because it helps:
i) one to first forgive the other
ii) lower one's hate and resentment
iii) lower one's ego and pride
iv) raises one's humility
v) improves relationships

There is so much hatred and unforgiveness in the world at this moment. It is retribution-seeking and unforgiveness that's perpetuating conflicts and hatred around the world, sometimes for generations. And it's not just on global and national scale. Such usually begins from the individual and at home. When we have problems forgiving those closest to us at home, such attitude can easily extend beyond home to all whom we meet.

Personally, I strive to practise forgiveness everyday. A few times a day in fact. I do it when giving thanks for the meals I have. At the end of my thanksgiving, "I forgive all who have hurt me, whether knowingly or unknowingly". And I make a sincere effort to forgive those who have caused me hurt on that day or before, whoever it is that my heart is still not at peace with. I find that it's a very good practice and habit that helps me see people without the prejudice of past negative experiences. After all, I found that my negative reactions to certain people is usually not based on the actual incident itself. Rather, it is the bad history and unforgiveness I have with that person that causes me to react more negatively than the situation warrants. If I let go and forgive everyday, my relationship with the other person is wiped clean of dirty smudges and ready to build on positive experiences daily. I can't say how much this practice have changed me and my relationships with people.

How I wish everyone can practise seeking and granting of forgiveness sincerely. The world will be a much better place than it is today. No more wars and conflicts certainly. No more family disharmony. Surely forgiveness will translate into peace and harmony amongst all.

The practice of "Maaf Zahir dan Batin" certainly helps. When all is forgiven, we can strive to build new and meaningful positive relationships for the future. Be it with individuals, groups of people or even nations. Because the journey of reconciliation begins with the first step of forgiveness.

To anyone I know who may be reading this posting of mine, I sincerely seek "maaf zahir dan batin" from you.
Please forgive me for any hurt and pain that I may have caused whether knowingly or unknowingly. I too forgive you for any such trespasses. Let bygones be bygones. May we build our relationship on positive values like Love, Truth and Compassion.

May Love, Truth and Compassion spread to every corner of this world and universe.